I Can't Go Back

I was just sharing with a friend recently that I have realized that my focus has been very narrow as I have been working on growing as a Christian. I have spent my energy on trusting God and giving Him control of my life. I thought a strong Christian was someone who could rest in God's peace through hard times, even when they could see they were not going to get their way. I thought if I can have that kind of faith, then I'll be a strong Christian. That kind of faith is important. It's hard to give up my own will. To die to self. I will never stop growing in this area, because I will never have it down perfectly.

Trusting God with my life is vital. But, if that is all I work on as a Christian then I am only working on me.

God talks a whole lot about others.

I can't see others when I am only concerned about me.

God has shown me the world with new eyes. A part of me wants to go back. I think of the expression - Ignorance is Bliss. But, that's not where God wants me. He doesn't want me living in my bubble, pretending I can write a check here and there and play like there is not suffering in the world.

There's no going back, now.

I have been a fan of Sara Groves' music for a long time. I always thought she could express through music exactly how I felt in many of her songs. Well, now she's taken it a step further.

Sara Groves expresses her need to learn more about those suffering in our world beautifully here. An excerpt from saragroves.com:

“I believe God invites us to add to the beauty of his plan, letting us participate in his redemptive work. But I found myself asking, ‘How have I applied this idea?' I had groomed and groomed and groomed my personal faith, but to what end?”

I think she took the words right out of my mouth.

I love that I can't go back. I love that my heart is broken. I love that God wants to include me in His plan.

And, I love this song:

Beautiful!

Where is My Treasure?

I've always heard, "One man's trash is another man's treasure". I would usually think of it in reference to garage sales. I've never really thought of it when thinking about the poor. Those who don't have anything.

That thought came today.

We have a room devoted to our school and we have an important rule - No Playing in the Schoolroom!

For some reason - like me letting it happen - that rule goes out the window on Christmas and Summer break. The room becomes the kids' craft haven. Paint and little scraps of paper cover the floor and since I'm on break too, I just let it go.

Then, I have a big clean out day when it's time to get back on track.

That was today.

So, back to the trash.

Like - several bags of trash.

I had visions of orderly bookshelves and school supplies all in their labeled containers in my head. I didn't notice that Moses had come up with everyone to see what was going on. As I put something in the trash, he would inspect it, sometimes removing it and taking it to his desk. He finally mentioned that I was throwing good stuff away.

I was throwing good stuff away.

Little notebooks with a few pages marked, crayons, little toys, stickers.

Some of it was trash, like dried out markers, but a lot of it was perfectly usable. My problem was that we had tons of it and I was tired of finding places for it all. The stuff was still good, but used just enough that I wouldn't want to give it away. In America, nobody would want it.

Moses took several things and said he wanted it, or he would take it for the small children. I wanted to send everything in the room with him.

Through Moses, God is teaching me to open my eyes. He is gently showing me the areas that I am taking for granted. I think one reason I don't think too much about this stuff, is that the stuff is not my treasure. But, I think I would miss it if all of it were gone. Maybe just the excess stuff is not my treasure. hmmm...

I remember to thank God for my family and our good health. But, I probably take most of my life for granted. I assume it's all going to be here tomorrow and I even complain that it's too much to keep track of.

I am thankful for this new perspective. We don't need to bring so much stuff into our house. We need to turn our focus outward to others' needs. Others that have true needs - like food and clean water needs.

God has really laid it on our family's hearts to look after the orphans and the widows. It's pretty plain and clear right there in His Word. These people are so important to Him; and if they are important to Him, I want to make them important to me. I can't believe it took me so long to see this.

James 1:27 - "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

Something's Not Quite Right

When I opened this page up, I found the colors are in the wrong places and it's missing some of it's pieces. It may be fixed by the time you see it.

When I noticed it, I thought to myself, "hmmm, sometimes that's how I feel, too."

It's true.

Sometimes, I feel like my color is a little off, something is just not right, or I'm missing some pieces.

I am kind of in that mode right now. My schedule is off. Each day, it seems like I wake up and try to think of what I need to get done. There is no plan, so there is no rhyme or reason to what I decide is getting done. Then, I feel behind when I realize there were some other things I probably should have prioritized above what I did. Does that make sense???

I do really well when I have our schedules planned and I'm working on a well thought out to-do list. Our days run little more smoothly when I'm in that mode. Notice I did not say everything runs smoothly. That would be impossible. But, that's where I really like to be.

Now, I just need to get myself there. It takes a plan. And, it takes time.

Since it's summer, our schedule is pretty loose, so I have the time. Somehow, I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around getting it all sorted out, so the plan is where I am getting caught up.

It seems like it should be so easy. I have folders full of cleaning schedules and meal plans that I know have worked for our family in the past. We have used them successfully. Why can't I just start using them again and move on?

I have known I have to get back on track for a while now.

I'll start today.

And, to think it all started with some messed up blog colors. Who said blogging is a waste of time? It looks like blogging is getting my rear in gear!