I am not a public speaker. When I even think about saying something outloud to a group, my heart beats so hard you can feel it on my chest. Then, I start to feel sick. I can’t form a rational thought and I start sweating. Good times.
This is exactly what I imagine myself doing -
No amount of imagining the audience in their underwear is going to save a person from that! I’m not making fun of this girl – it’s just the perfect example of why I get nervous in front of an audience.
That being said – my husband sent me an email last week. He apparently forgot to tell me that the church had asked us to share our testimony about Moses in both services. I’m still wondering if he just waited so I would have less time to chicken out. He didn’t have to worry about the time though because I quickly responded to his email with a “No.”
Then, immediately the entire testimony flooded my mind and I wrote it all out. I couldn’t keep it in and knew God wanted it to be told. I can’t say I love God with all my heart, my soul, and my mind and I will do anything He wants me to - as long as I don’t have to step out of my comfort zone.
The pastor was speaking on celebrating what our church had accomplished over the past year and giving God the glory for leading us and enabling us to do these things. We can see growth with each step of faith and we can see God taking us places we never imagined ourselves being last year. One of the stories was our church walking through a leukemia diagnosis and treatment for a young mom. This time last year, she didn’t know she was sick – and now she is in remission! Our church family pulled together in prayer, with meals, and loving on this family. Then, we were able to celebrate with them.
We saw the impact small groups and church family can have on people when they are going through some hard times and need some support. One family shared how much their small group helped them out while their baby was in the NICU for a time.
The pastor wanted Tony and me to speak about what kind of impact Moses had on our family. This time last year we had no idea we would be in the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia. If you would have told us that was our future, we would not have believed you. If anything, I would have thought I might be pregnant, but not adopting.
There is no telling where and how God is going to work in our lives from one day to the next. And, it really is amazing to see where God has taken our church family in one year.
As we were celebrating as a church, I was also able to celebrate individually. God gave me a peace about speaking in front of the church. He kept reminding me that I am only a vessel and I am not there to impress anyone. As I focused on letting him work in me, I was not concerned with how I was going to look. What a relief! I was able to share what God has laid on my heart without stammering, fainting, or throwing up. Success!
This time last year, I don’t think I would have been able to stand up and speak in front of the church. I wouldn’t even have thought I had anything of value to share. God had different plans that I couldn’t even imagine.
Now we get to see where God wants to take us next year. There really is no telling where we will be. We don’t know if it will be sad times or happy times. We only know one thing for certain –
With God, it will be a victory and we will be able to celebrate where He has taken us!