Saying Goodbye

Our family will be saying goodbye to Moses this week.

I can't even type that without tearing up.

How am I going to help him pack his bags? How am I going to get through our last dinner together? How am I going to look him in the eyes and say goodbye as he leaves for Liberia?

I want to be strong for him and express confidence to him that I trust our Father has him in His hands and everything is going to be alright.

I don't know if me being a sobbing mess with red eyes and a running nose will convey that message of confidence to him.

I absolutely know that Moses is in God's hand and He will take care of him.

But, goodbyes are still hard.

I'm not envious of Tony anymore. I get to say goodbye and then cower at home and cry in the privacy of my own home. Tony has to say goodbye in front of an entire orphanage full of kids just like Moses. And, he gets to leave them all behind.

How is he going to do that?

But - despite the tears, I do have confidence that God is working big and mighty things through all of this. God has made it clear to Tony and me that we are to get off our rears and do something for Him. We don't know exactly what that is yet, but we are waiting expectantly. I have a feeling when God reveals what He wants us to do, we are going to fly off our seats. We are so ready!

I would love to get a God's eye view of Moses' trip to America. I know how He used Moses to change Tony's and my hearts. I would love to see all the ways God has used this trip to work in everyone's lives that Moses touched. I have to say - that boy got around. I have had friends tell me that they had a friend that met Moses while they were at a cousin's boyfriend's sister's neighbor's house. It was crazy! Talk about six degrees of separation.

And, every one of those friends had the same little smile on their face when they talked about meeting him.

No one can convince me that God did not work through Moses while he was in America.

I am praying for that work to continue.

I can't sit around and just watch as our world falls into self-centerness. I don't want that for my children. I want them to see the needs in our world and know that they can do something to help. Not fix the world's problems, just do something to help.

If we don't give of ourselves, we just get absorbed in ourselves.

God says where people are heading in 2 Timothy 3:2-5:

"For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."

It looks to me that our world is already there. God says that's the way it is. I can't stop it. But, I can resist that for myself and guide my children to avoid that kind of lifestyle.

I think the most effective way to do that is to allow God to work through me as I focus on loving others and reaching out beyond myself. There are so many ways to do that. My heart is specifically burdened for those living in poverty. One friend of mine is burdened for the planned parenthood building that is being constructed here in Houston. Another friend shared her burden for the girls who are being sold as sex slaves. All of these issues need to be addressed. God will lay on your heart where He wants you to reach out. And, we can pray for all of them.

God will turn your whole world upside down, if you let Him. It will fill your heart with a joy that cannot be replaced by anything in this world.

I have to warn you, though.

It will involve lots of tears.

Where is My Treasure?

I've always heard, "One man's trash is another man's treasure". I would usually think of it in reference to garage sales. I've never really thought of it when thinking about the poor. Those who don't have anything.

That thought came today.

We have a room devoted to our school and we have an important rule - No Playing in the Schoolroom!

For some reason - like me letting it happen - that rule goes out the window on Christmas and Summer break. The room becomes the kids' craft haven. Paint and little scraps of paper cover the floor and since I'm on break too, I just let it go.

Then, I have a big clean out day when it's time to get back on track.

That was today.

So, back to the trash.

Like - several bags of trash.

I had visions of orderly bookshelves and school supplies all in their labeled containers in my head. I didn't notice that Moses had come up with everyone to see what was going on. As I put something in the trash, he would inspect it, sometimes removing it and taking it to his desk. He finally mentioned that I was throwing good stuff away.

I was throwing good stuff away.

Little notebooks with a few pages marked, crayons, little toys, stickers.

Some of it was trash, like dried out markers, but a lot of it was perfectly usable. My problem was that we had tons of it and I was tired of finding places for it all. The stuff was still good, but used just enough that I wouldn't want to give it away. In America, nobody would want it.

Moses took several things and said he wanted it, or he would take it for the small children. I wanted to send everything in the room with him.

Through Moses, God is teaching me to open my eyes. He is gently showing me the areas that I am taking for granted. I think one reason I don't think too much about this stuff, is that the stuff is not my treasure. But, I think I would miss it if all of it were gone. Maybe just the excess stuff is not my treasure. hmmm...

I remember to thank God for my family and our good health. But, I probably take most of my life for granted. I assume it's all going to be here tomorrow and I even complain that it's too much to keep track of.

I am thankful for this new perspective. We don't need to bring so much stuff into our house. We need to turn our focus outward to others' needs. Others that have true needs - like food and clean water needs.

God has really laid it on our family's hearts to look after the orphans and the widows. It's pretty plain and clear right there in His Word. These people are so important to Him; and if they are important to Him, I want to make them important to me. I can't believe it took me so long to see this.

James 1:27 - "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

I'm Jealous.

Tony announced yesterday that he talked to our pastor and is planning on going to Africa when they take Moses home.

I want to go.

But - I don't want to leave our kids here while both of their parents take off to Africa. Remember the Mad About You episode where Paul and Jaime were trying to fly to a wedding, but they had to take separate planes? That way, one of them would still be there for their daughter if one of the planes crashed.

Yes - I think like that, too.

I know it's silly.

But, that's not why I am not going. They have a great group of guys all going over there to see the orphanage and school. Moses is sooooo excited that Tony is going to go with him. He was giddy at dinner last night and told Tony all the kids were going to jump on him when he got there. It was really great to see Moses that happy.

Moses has started telling us that he does not want to go back to Africa. It breaks my heart. I am praying that if God wants a family to adopt him, they will be obedient to that call. Tony and I have been praying, and God has really been showing us it is not our family.

I keep reading about how it can be really hard for the first-born (Tate) when a family adopts an older child. I can see that. It would be hard getting demoted as the oldest.

Also, Bear is doing much better and has started talking to him and playing with him, but she's really having to work at it. If she feels uncomfortable with him, how can we bring him in permanently? She would probably get used to it over time, but that is a lot to ask of a little girl.

All of the kids have started asking Tony and me to have another baby, though. Tony asked them if they would like us to adopt, and they were just as thrilled with that possibility. I think the key is that the new sibling would be younger than Bear.

So, we are doing our research. And, saving our pennies. (There's a big reason I am not going to Africa). It looks like Liberia's government has shut down their adoptions for now as they make some changes to the laws. They say it should open up soon, but we'll see.

We have to do something.

I always knew something about Africa having starving children, but for some reason I did not realize I could help. These kids are desperate for help. These parents are desperate for help. When I used to think of Africa, I thought of people living lives just like us, only with less stuff. And, sometimes needing to go to a food center to get help with food.

Now that I have started paying attention, I see that there is horrific stuff going on over there. Things we don't even worry about. That makes sense. Crime and poverty seem to go hand in hand. These people have to worry that someone will break into their homes and kill them at any time. Not to mention lack of medical care, an 80% unemployment rate, and many other things we take for granted. What a horrible way to have to live!

I read the Story of the Starfish in Tom Davis' book, Fields of the Fatherless, and it gave me a new perspective about what I can do to help. I can't do everything, but I can do something.

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”~ Helen Keller

Tony gave a review of the Fields of the Fatherless book on his site, if you want to check it out. It really is a good reminder of our need to be compassionate.

We'll see where this adoption process is going. I am amazed at how God works, and He is always full of surprises!

Molecule Explosion

Some crazy molecules have formed at my kitchen table this morning. The kids have been hard at work making new scientific discoveries. Some molecules even resemble robots!

We are going through Real Science 4 Kids Chemistry. I really like the way they use big, colorful pictures and easy explanations without dumbing it down. They had to make random molecules first. Then they had to remember that different atoms cannot form as many bonds as they want, so they had to count the bonds to make real molecules. All while playing with (and eating) marshmallows. How could that not be fun for kids?

When I asked Moses what he wanted me to teach him while he was living with us, he immediately answered - Chemistry! Really. That just happened to be my minor in college - thank you, God! How did He know a little boy from Africa would want me to teach him chemistry one day and I wouldn't be intimidated by it? Oh, that's right - He's God! He was probably laughing at the image of the marshmallow explosion on my table that I had waiting for me in my future while I was staying up late, struggling over Organic Chem. Now, all those classes were worth it.

On the Road to Recovery

I haven't been good about updating the progress with Moses. Sorry. He had a very successful surgery on June 11th. They did six surgeries on his arm that day. The doctor was very pleased with how it turned out, so that is encouraging. Moses was in a lot of pain the next few days, but he was tough. He did not complain, and after a few days he rarely asked for any pain medication.

He went yesterday and they took the stitches out and put a hard cast on. That has been pretty uncomfortable, but again, he is not complaining.

Today, he was in a great mood and we had a lot of fun with him. We played outside and he was running around with us. He's also back to giving Bear a hard time. He loves to pick at her for some reason. It started because she was so shy with him and he was determined to win her over. He was persistent and today - she spoke to him for the first time! He was shocked, but pleased. So, he stole her tricycle. :) That's just the relationship they have.



Notice the straight wrist!

Zzzzzzzzzzzz!

That's what Moses has been doing a lot of since his surgery yesterday. I have many people asking for updates. Thank you all for praying for him.

Our praise is that his surgery went really well. The doctors were happy with how it turned out. Now it's just time for some rest and healing. His pain medicine seems to be working and he is able to sleep. It's pretty bad when you are in pain and it's not time for your next dose of medicine. I'm glad we have not had that so far.

Moses was very excited yesterday after the surgery when he was able to see his hand straight for the first time ever. After he heals from the surgery, they will begin therapy on his arm. It's going to be a lot of work and pain, but we are all hoping he will be able to use that hand better.

As for now, all he wants to do is sleep and watch Tom & Jerry. He's not much of a tv person, but he isn't up for games and reading yet. Hopefully, he will start feeling better soon and will be ready to do something so he doesn't get so bored with dvd's.

Please continue to pray for quick and proper healing and as little pain for him as possible. He's such a sweet kid and is going through a lot. I know he is also missing home and the people he loves there.

Thank you all for your many prayers!

Speechless

We have had this sweet young boy living in our home since last Friday and I have not even been able to post about it. Mainly, because I have had to spend some time trying to gather my thoughts about the whole situation. I have been speechless. Tony would not agree with that statement!

This young boy's name is Moses and he is 13 years old. He lives in an orphanage in Liberia and has come to America to have surgery on his crippled hand. Our church brought him here to help, but I don't think God brought him here strictly to have his hand fixed. So, the big question - What is God doing? And, the bigger question - What am I supposed to do?

My first instinct is to adopt him and bring him to America. I think that is everyone's first instinct. Whenever someone finds out he is staying with us, their immediate question (or statement) is - You are going to adopt him, right? You can't send him back! As if that would solve all of his problems. The truth is, it would probably cause a whole new set of problems. It's not like the teenagers in America have no problems. If anything, as a whole, our teenagers seem to lack the joy and peace that I keep hearing the people back in Liberia have. They are completely dependent on God for every need and they are truly thankful for all they have. Even if it seems like so little to us. Moses reminds me of that when I listen to him pray. He thanks God for everything. He thanks God for water. I can't remember the last time I thanked God for water, if ever.

His biggest need is probably an education. He will need that so he will be able to support himself in the future. At least, that is the big problem I can see. Unemployment. And, with a crippled arm, the chance of finding work goes down significantly. Maybe that is where God is calling us to help. Are we supposed to try to help fund educations for these kids?

So many questions. Are we supposed to try to adopt Moses? Are we supposed to try to adopt another child who is worse off? Are we supposed to move our family to Africa and serve in an orphanage? The questions are endless. I'm not sure where this is going, but I am excited to see where it leads. One thing I know - my life has changed. I don't know how, but the reality of the needs of people so far away from my world is sinking in. Looking at this child playing games in my living room and realizing he came from an orphanage in Africa is surreal.

I think it's too easy to look at the pictures of those suffering and think how sad, but then move my thoughts right into what am I making for dinner tonight? I think television has probably done this disservice to me. I can tell myself that I know what is real vs. imaginary, but I think too often I move very tragic events into the imaginary side as if it were a movie. And, I know I am just naturally selfish. I don't like to think of things that make me feel bad. Or, that I don't think I can do anything about. I like to be in control, and if I can't fix it, then I guess I can't do anything.

God has used Moses to change my thinking. He has shown me that it is not my job to fix anything. That is His job. But, He wants me to allow Him to work through me in some areas. And there is where my attitude is changing. Now, I am looking forward to seeing how and where God would be willing to use me.

As I read through Psalm 10 this morning, I kept thinking of the injustice of the poor and the orphans suffering while the corrupt people prosper. Sometimes I have the same questions as verse 1: "Why, O Lord, do you stand afar off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?" I question why God is not doing something to help these people. But then, in verse 14, I am reminded: "But you do see, for you note mischief and vexation, that you may take it into your hands; to you the helpless commits himself; you have been the helper of the fatherless."

I am not going to question God. I know He is not abandoning His children, even though I can't figure out what He has planned. Psalm 10 ends with such encouragement in verses 17 and 18: "O Lord, you hear the desire of the afflicted; you will strengthen their heart; you will incline your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of the earth may strike terror no more."

My job is to just trust in the Lord and look for him to work in me and through me. I am excited to see what God has planned.