Wednesday, August 27, 2008

What Road Will I Take?




Am I going to walk down this road?

I keep asking God this question.

God has told Tony and me that we are going to one day walk down this road. But, I have questions. My number one questions is

Really?

I know - it's a pretty deep question.

The road in the picture is the road that leads from a hotel in Ethiopia to an orphanage called Hannah's Hope.

Really? Is that what you are calling us to do?

I keep questioning this because I have been positive in the past that God is telling me to do one thing, only to lead me in a different direction than I thought. Of course, it has always turned out better and I can see in hindsight what He was doing when I thought I was heading in the first direction. I am fully confident that if this is not what God has planned for us, He will use this to lead us where He really wants us to go. Until then I still ask -

Really?

You have a child that will not have any parents to take care of him and you want to place him in our family?

I don't feel worthy of God allowing our family to participate in this awesome plan. But - Yes, Lord. Please use our family and be glorified through the entire process.

I'm pretty sure there will be some people who question what we are doing. We already have four kids, there are lots of kids in America that needs homes, our family is white and Ethopian babies are black...

Somehow, I think I can handle the critical comments better than the complimentary. What I don't want is to be glorified for what our family has done for this child. This is what God laid on our hearts. He is clear in Scripture that we are to take care of the poor, and He put this adoption on my heart and Tony's heart at the same time. On our whole family's hearts. The kids started asking for a baby right when God started opening our eyes to this.

They are so excited.

But, I am having a hard time getting excited over this. I just keep waiting for God to tell me this was just step one, but He actually wants us to do something else. I want to be excited about adoption. I want to get frustrated with how long the paperwork takes because I just can't wait any longer.

I will trust that God has a sovereign plan and this step is part of it. I can know that if He is going to lead us in another direction before we go through the entire adoption process, then all of this is just part of where He needed to take us first.

It will be okay because God is in control.

Not me.

Until then, I think I'm ready to get excited about starting this adoption process. I'm getting excited about praying for a child that may not even be conceived right now, and praying for his parents, and for our family that will see that the orphans and the poor are real people that we need to love and take care of. I'm getting excited because I know this child will be a way bigger blessing to our family than we will be to him.

And, I'm getting excited about walking down that road to meet a child that God knew long before now and planned to place in our family.

This journey will take us down new roads. I'm ready to see where God leads us.

Really.

4 comments:

so much more without words. said...

I'm sure you have read bunches...but i love her adoption blogs...real...

http://allthingshendrick.blogspot.com/search/label/adoption

dayna

mandi said...

oh amanda- how wonderful! it is a gift to see a family living out the call to care for the fatherless. we will be praying alongside you guys.

Sandy Toes said...

What a great blog! I am home schooling my youngest child at home...hope you have a great year! I will be back!

Have a happy Labor Day!
-Sandy Toes

Lindsay said...

I saw you won the Twilight books on Debbie's blog - congrats! (I was number 10 - d'oh!).

What a wonderful, selfless thing you guys are doing. I wish you the best of luck and strength through this process, and it looks like you have a firm foundation of faith to help see you through.